✝☨Viva la Vida☨✝

What are yo--

[Why does this keep happening to him!? Is he permeating some kind of horrible aphrodisiac!?

Stock still in mortification, face bleached like a ghost, he doesn't know weather to scream or retch or do both at the same time.

Instead he gathers what's left of his wits and settles for attempting to headbutt the granite skull in front of him...

It was ineffective.]

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[The most he felt was a blunt tap before the Bishop proved his own undoing, tightening his grip enough to hear a small pop of the other's spine being adjusted. A firm tugging and a hairband comes away in his palm, enveloping the other within the folds of his cloak.]

ENRICO MAXWELL.

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[OH LORD HE'S BEING SWALLOWED BY GAUDY RED DRAPES.]

Ah! I.. wah..aa.. st--stop!

[It's so pitch black in here and he's starting to get claustrophobic.. and the pop of his spine has left him pliant as a doll in a wolf-hound's jaws.]

I d-don't know what Archdiocese you come from, but the proper custom is lips touch the ring, ONLY!

Edited Date: 2010-05-17 02:47 am (UTC)

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[AND HE'LL LIKE IT SOON ENOUGH. WE'RE GOING TO THE ALTAR.

Reaches down to unravel the rope he'd used and hoists him over his shoulder instead, moving towards the altar.

He'll have his way with you yet, Maxwell!]

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[DOES NOT LIKE, DOES NOT LIKE, HATE, HATE, HAAATES!]

H-aah!? Pu.. PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!

[Beating on his back to no avail, it's like hitting titanium.]

I should be the one having you tried for accosting a CHURCH OFFICIAL!

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I AM YOUR EQUAL. WE MUST BE MARRIED.

[Waiiiit. Whuuuut. Yeah. You heard him right. Somehow.]

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We share similarities, you and I. SO LET US BE WED HERE UPON THIS ALTAR.

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THAT...

THAT'S AN AWFUL REASON TO BE WED!

DON'T YOU KNOW LIKES REPEL!!?

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[And just as he's dragging him up there....]

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[SKLJDHFDSKLJ CAT SCRATCHING HIS BACK TILL HIS FINELY MANICURED NAILS BREAK!]

YOU CAN'T!

I TOOK A VOW!

I'M ALREADY MARRIED TO THE CHURCH!

Edited Date: 2010-05-17 05:36 am (UTC)

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[Yeah..You know he's not listening, right?]

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[Yes.. he figured that...]

O-Oh for the love of all that is Hol--

ANDERSON!!

WAKE UP, YOU LOUT AND HELP ME!!

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[Lo and Behold: There's a knock at the front gates.....What's left of them. Oh. I guess....He didn't really need to do that. Stepping inside...

NEVER FEAR, MAIDEN! YOUR KNIGHT IS HERE!]

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[An Iscariot-issue pistol is already in his hand: The hammer cocked before he squeezed a round into the Cardinal's shoulder.]

UNHAND ARCHBISHOP MAXWELL!

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[A short burst of pain, and he whips around growling, dropping the Bishop faster than a sack of potatoes.]

HOW DARE YOU..!

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[And he tumbles and splats unceremoniously upon the alter... Who is that and why does he know his name?!

WHATEVER he seems far less insane than this brazen Cardinal, so he takes his chance and bolts down the aisle-way towards the cleric-clad gunslinger.]

I don't know who you are, but don't think, just run, NOW!

Edited Date: 2010-05-17 06:48 am (UTC)

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[SERIOUZ BUSINEZZ. Oh, he's pissed now.]

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[Ask me the question, Bridge Keeper! I'm not afraid! Twirls the trigger-guard around his finger, walking towards the Cardinal, rather than away until he had the barrel nearly inches from his face.]

Kindly remove your presence here...Or I'm afraid I may have to put another bullet in you.

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Ehi...

[Seems no one was listening to him today... or any day... what did he do to be so ignored!?]

Aha, padre.. please, we needn't be starting wars with other dioceses, sì, no, sì?

[There's a tug at the cleric's fire-arm, however the archbishop is clearly using him as a human shield, keeping him placed between he and the Cardinal.]

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[Fine. You win. This time. But don't think I'll go so easily on you next time.]

....

[And he's sweeping past them, murder in his eyes.]

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[Only once the red-clad mammoth departed did he lower his weapon, letting the safety click back into place.]

Ah. Arcivescovo...Forgive me. I was forced to disobey your order, under the circumstances that you were rather...Spooked.

[He's not going to say you were afraid. Hurhurhur.]

I do apologize for upsetting you, but I felt it was more important to protect you.

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