13th_crusader | ✞4th Wall Day ☦ Part Duae✞

[And he worked so hard to get everything clean! Ppppfffffuuuu!]

A-aaaaaaa!

[A pew hits him square in the chest, causing him to land several feet off to the side.

Sorry Maxwell....He's sort of indisposed at the moment.]

Taking a step closer...Yes, Maxwell. He's all up in your face, and......]

IN THE NAME OF GOD AND HIS HOLINESS I AM TAKING YOU INTO CUSTODY FOR TREASON.

[Grabbing that long ponytail and slamming the frail man into the floor, knee on the center of his back, while one of Enrico's wrists are wrenched back behind him.]

[J-JESUS H. CHRIST!]

Ehiii..!!

[AND HE'S WRITHING LIKE A COD-FISH IN HIS GRASP!

ANYTHING BUT THE HAIR, YOU BEAST!]

[GODDAMNIT ANDERSON YOU'RE USELESS!]

Tr...treason..!?

I AM ORDAINED ARCHBISHOP UNDER POPE JOHN PAUL II, ENRICO MAXWELL, YOU GODDAMNED APOSTATE!!!

Edited 2010-05-16 22:54 (UTC)

[Don't worry, Maxie! He's coming for you!

Shaking off the cloud of dust from his eyes the Killing Judge stirred from beneath the haphazard pile of wood, and in a swift shove managed to come a few inches shy of hitting the mammoth blanket of crimson in the side with part of a pew.

Nearly faster than the human eye could discern the Paladin was a blur, riding in like a storm on his Bishop's behalf.]

[As if the bayonet-wielder were no more than a flickering annoyance he thrust out a hand to send him sprawling, still gripping onto that length of hair in one hand, while with the other he managed to bind pale wrists together.]

SONO IL CARDINALE FRANCESCO DI MEDICI, IL GRANDUCA DI TOSCANA E FIRENZE E L'INQUIRENTE GRANDE AL VATICANO, LA TESTA DI AFFARI INTERNI!

UNDER THE INQUISITION YOU ARE HEREBY CHARGED ON ALL ACOUNTS!!

THAT.

IS.

[OH GOD HE'S GOING DEAF HE CAN'T EVEN HEAR HIMSELF ANYMORE.]

DO YOU HEAR ME OVER THAT FOGHORN!? I'M THE BUREAU DIRECTOR OF VATICAN INTERNAL AFFAIRS! THAT IS MY POSITION! MINE!

[Struggling till his spindly arms threaten to break from the pressure.]

I'M FOUNDER OF THE 13ch POPE AGENCY SPECIAL DUTY DIVISION!!

[Graah did not mean to say that OUTLOUD! HE CAN'T THINK ANYMORE EITHER!

BRAIN HAS BEEN SHAKEN TO MUSH!]

CHECK MY FISHERMAN'S RING IF YOUR VOICE HASN'T MADE YOU BLIND AS WELL AS DEAF!!!

[Oh boy. The direct hit causes him to spread out, knocked cold. Somehow he'd hit hard stone rather than wood, and probably wouldn't be intervening any time soon.]

[He paused, momentarily, to examine impeccably shaped nails, before dipping low enough to mate their rings, noting the seals were identical. No forgery could have been made from either one of them.

The shouting match disintegrated, and he flipped him onto his back over his knee, brows arching up almost so high it would seem they might fall off.]

...Archbishop.

[The sudden drop in volume had him frozen like a stag in headlights, unsure he heard him through the ringing of sanctus bells in his ears.]

A-ah...

Certo.

[The beast of a man was nearly as imposing as Anderson when drenched in the blood of heretics. Yet he would not stand down and do an act of worship to this.. would-be inquisitor.]

If you will untie me. Inquirente.

Edited 2010-05-17 01:34 (UTC)

Not until I am absolutely certain of your authenticity.

[Yet, maybe he'd much prefer you this way, Maxwell. His own ring is flashing silver in the light as he brings up that sharp chin, grabbing him in a firm embrace, his fingers looping in the golden ringlets of his hair.]

What are yo--

[Why does this keep happening to him!? Is he permeating some kind of horrible aphrodisiac!?

Stock still in mortification, face bleached like a ghost, he doesn't know weather to scream or retch or do both at the same time.

Instead he gathers what's left of his wits and settles for attempting to headbutt the granite skull in front of him...

It was ineffective.]

[The most he felt was a blunt tap before the Bishop proved his own undoing, tightening his grip enough to hear a small pop of the other's spine being adjusted. A firm tugging and a hairband comes away in his palm, enveloping the other within the folds of his cloak.]

ENRICO MAXWELL.

[OH LORD HE'S BEING SWALLOWED BY GAUDY RED DRAPES.]

Ah! I.. wah..aa.. st--stop!

[It's so pitch black in here and he's starting to get claustrophobic.. and the pop of his spine has left him pliant as a doll in a wolf-hound's jaws.]

I d-don't know what Archdiocese you come from, but the proper custom is lips touch the ring, ONLY!

Edited 2010-05-17 02:47 (UTC)

[AND HE'LL LIKE IT SOON ENOUGH. WE'RE GOING TO THE ALTAR.

Reaches down to unravel the rope he'd used and hoists him over his shoulder instead, moving towards the altar.

He'll have his way with you yet, Maxwell!]

[DOES NOT LIKE, DOES NOT LIKE, HATE, HATE, HAAATES!]

H-aah!? Pu.. PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!

[Beating on his back to no avail, it's like hitting titanium.]

I should be the one having you tried for accosting a CHURCH OFFICIAL!

I AM YOUR EQUAL. WE MUST BE MARRIED.

[Waiiiit. Whuuuut. Yeah. You heard him right. Somehow.]

We share similarities, you and I. SO LET US BE WED HERE UPON THIS ALTAR.

THAT...

THAT'S AN AWFUL REASON TO BE WED!

DON'T YOU KNOW LIKES REPEL!!?

[And just as he's dragging him up there....]

[SKLJDHFDSKLJ CAT SCRATCHING HIS BACK TILL HIS FINELY MANICURED NAILS BREAK!]

YOU CAN'T!

I TOOK A VOW!

I'M ALREADY MARRIED TO THE CHURCH!

Edited 2010-05-17 05:36 (UTC)

[Yeah..You know he's not listening, right?]

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