✞4th Wall Day ☦ Part Duae✞

[13th_crusader]

...Oh no.

OH NO!

NO NO NO NO NO I REFUSE THIS! ASSOLUTEAMENTE RIFIUTARE!

ANDERSON!! BLOCK THE DOOR NOW WITH WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND!

AND ESPECIALLY DO NOT LET IN ANY FLEA-BITTEN CATS!!

Comments

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[He paused, momentarily, to examine impeccably shaped nails, before dipping low enough to mate their rings, noting the seals were identical. No forgery could have been made from either one of them.

The shouting match disintegrated, and he flipped him onto his back over his knee, brows arching up almost so high it would seem they might fall off.]

...Archbishop.

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[The sudden drop in volume had him frozen like a stag in headlights, unsure he heard him through the ringing of sanctus bells in his ears.]

A-ah...

Certo.

[The beast of a man was nearly as imposing as Anderson when drenched in the blood of heretics. Yet he would not stand down and do an act of worship to this.. would-be inquisitor.]

If you will untie me. Inquirente.

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

Not until I am absolutely certain of your authenticity.

[Yet, maybe he'd much prefer you this way, Maxwell. His own ring is flashing silver in the light as he brings up that sharp chin, grabbing him in a firm embrace, his fingers looping in the golden ringlets of his hair.]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

What are yo--

[Why does this keep happening to him!? Is he permeating some kind of horrible aphrodisiac!?

Stock still in mortification, face bleached like a ghost, he doesn't know weather to scream or retch or do both at the same time.

Instead he gathers what's left of his wits and settles for attempting to headbutt the granite skull in front of him...



It was ineffective.]

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[The most he felt was a blunt tap before the Bishop proved his own undoing, tightening his grip enough to hear a small pop of the other's spine being adjusted. A firm tugging and a hairband comes away in his palm, enveloping the other within the folds of his cloak.]

ENRICO MAXWELL.

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[OH LORD HE'S BEING SWALLOWED BY GAUDY RED DRAPES.]

Ah! I.. wah..aa.. st--stop!

[It's so pitch black in here and he's starting to get claustrophobic.. and the pop of his spine has left him pliant as a doll in a wolf-hound's jaws.]

I d-don't know what Archdiocese you come from, but the proper custom is lips touch the ring, ONLY!

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[AND HE'LL LIKE IT SOON ENOUGH. WE'RE GOING TO THE ALTAR.

Reaches down to unravel the rope he'd used and hoists him over his shoulder instead, moving towards the altar.

He'll have his way with you yet, Maxwell!]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[DOES NOT LIKE, DOES NOT LIKE, HATE, HATE, HAAATES!]

H-aah!? Pu.. PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!

[Beating on his back to no avail, it's like hitting titanium.]

I should be the one having you tried for accosting a CHURCH OFFICIAL!

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

I AM YOUR EQUAL. WE MUST BE MARRIED.

[Waiiiit. Whuuuut. Yeah. You heard him right. Somehow.]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

We share similarities, you and I. SO LET US BE WED HERE UPON THIS ALTAR.

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

THAT...



THAT'S AN AWFUL REASON TO BE WED!



DON'T YOU KNOW LIKES REPEL!!?

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[And just as he's dragging him up there....]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[SKLJDHFDSKLJ CAT SCRATCHING HIS BACK TILL HIS FINELY MANICURED NAILS BREAK!]

YOU CAN'T!

I TOOK A VOW!

I'M ALREADY MARRIED TO THE CHURCH!

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[Yeah..You know he's not listening, right?]

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[Yes.. he figured that...]

O-Oh for the love of all that is Hol--



ANDERSON!!


WAKE UP, YOU LOUT AND HELP ME!!

[10th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[Lo and Behold: There's a knock at the front gates.....What's left of them. Oh. I guess....He didn't really need to do that. Stepping inside...

NEVER FEAR, MAIDEN! YOUR KNIGHT IS HERE!]

[10th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[An Iscariot-issue pistol is already in his hand: The hammer cocked before he squeezed a round into the Cardinal's shoulder.]

UNHAND ARCHBISHOP MAXWELL!

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[A short burst of pain, and he whips around growling, dropping the Bishop faster than a sack of potatoes.]

HOW DARE YOU..!

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[And he tumbles and splats unceremoniously upon the alter... Who is that and why does he know his name?!

WHATEVER he seems far less insane than this brazen Cardinal, so he takes his chance and bolts down the aisle-way towards the cleric-clad gunslinger.]

I don't know who you are, but don't think, just run, NOW!

[sanfrancesco.livejournal.com]

[SERIOUZ BUSINEZZ. Oh, he's pissed now.]

[10th-crusader.livejournal.com]

[Ask me the question, Bridge Keeper! I'm not afraid! Twirls the trigger-guard around his finger, walking towards the Cardinal, rather than away until he had the barrel nearly inches from his face.]

Kindly remove your presence here...Or I'm afraid I may have to put another bullet in you.

[13th-crusader.livejournal.com]

Ehi...

[Seems no one was listening to him today... or any day... what did he do to be so ignored!?]

Aha, padre.. please, we needn't be starting wars with other dioceses, sì, no, sì?

[There's a tug at the cleric's fire-arm, however the archbishop is clearly using him as a human shield, keeping him placed between he and the Cardinal.]